Dating a narcissist married man

They can be oh so attentive and praising. Take good care of yourself. Show yourself some love,…. I just read your post and felt like I just wrote it. My situation is identical to yours. I see such red flags but half of me sees a man who loves me, acknowledges some things and tries to work on them. He is emotionless and all of the things I feel we have talked about and promised are thrown out the window again.

I am losing my trust, respect and confidence in him. The ego thing rules. He is not physically abusive but I feel he is emotionally abusive.

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I just read your article and felt I needed to respond which is something I never do. How are things with you and your husband now? I see this was posted in February. Stay strong and I hope God guides us both in the right direction. This issue can be so so confounding. So my advice, if I could go back and put myself in your shoes, would be not to focus so much on what he does we all have narcissistic behaviors, and narcissists themselves can act normal so much of the time , but to start asking the hard questions about how you relate emotionally with this man.

Can you bring your dreams, frustrations, fears, and hopes to him and feel completely accepted and supported? Does he give you the freedom to be the you you always wanted to be? Or do you find yourself walking on eggshells, and are you starting to question who you are becoming? Remember narcissists are usually loving and complimentary when you are an extension of them… but threatened when you stop reflecting their world back to them. How does he react when you go deep, or are vulnerable? Mine would simply get up and leave the room or change the subject and tell me I was boring.

Owning your feelings of course, and not blaming him. Is his concern for your feelings and for the relationship, or is he more concerned with protecting his ego? I picked up a number of red flags in your post relative to this area, which is why I responded, but truly at this point its hard to tell if it is him, or if it is you, or if it is the dance the two of you are doing in your relationship as you can reinforce narcissistic tendencies in each other. In my experience, getting emotionally vulnerable and honest with him over time is a good way to test the relationship by yourself, but you may want to sit down with a good counselor or therapist and review your concerns.

Little red flags in your intuition level almost never go away on their own, so pay attention to them. Every good relationship should be able to work through these issues and resolve them with or without help, and I would make a solid effort in that direction before either moving deeper with the relationship or getting out. That is the only way to know for sure what you are dealing with. Best of luck to you and your man, I hope you are able to resolve these red flags and that he moves toward you rather than away!

Nadia, I have a similar situation to Carol. It took 40 years of marriage before I finally found out, through counseling, that my husband is narcissistic. His family saw him as the hero and the perfect one. Believe me, your man has found the way to manipulate your own fragilities and emotionally, you will end up looking like the crazy, while he continues to play your emotions like a yo-yo. He will appear to all as the hero and the good guy. You will become withdrawn and terribly lonely.

You will not trust yourself or anyone. It is a slow death of a personality, goals, and dreams. Locate a qualified therapist that can help you become emotionally intelligent so you will be less likely to draw that type of a personality towards you in the future.

Do Female Narcissists And Male Narcissists Ever Get Married - Narcissistic Spouses

Otherwise, you may have the tendency to go from one relationship to another, repeating the same confusing pattern. We both agreed that I would be a stay at home mom until the kids were in school. We have a fairly large family, no regrets there. But when it came time for me to go back to school, and get an education and training with the intentions of becoming employed in a profession of choice, he sabotaged me, and would not pull his weight with helping around the house and with the children.

The last straw for me was when he made hurtful and discouraging remarks towards my academic achievements. My folding just fed his behavior. I turned on myself and absorbed all the blame and all the hurtful remarks. I became a recluse. Now, I am 61 going on 62 and I have health problems. We are still married. We both are learning and trying harder to communicate and be more considerate of each other.

So I have noticed improvement for about 9 months now. They say it is never too late. I am stepping out by volunteering a couple of days a week. I am surprised that I am so uncomfortable doing this. But I know that I use to be an outgoing and a sociable person. I am taking on-line classes just to have goals and to learn more about things that I wish to learn about.

But what future is there for me now? Yeah I had one of these. He flirted with men and women to the point that he allowed others to put me down in front of him in order to get his attention and vise versa. He was great if no one else was around but the minute any person came around I was in the back seat and completely ignored or put down.

I agree with Elena…. What happens later on when they get rather nasty is that you continue hoping that this lovely charmer from the past will somehow reappear. Problem is that charm was an act, they are only ever interested in their own needs. I would expect teenager to say those things but not a grown up health person.

Please read about codependency so you can become free one day. And neither is that girls boyfriend. How does your girlfriend treat you? How does she make you feel when shes around? Gone to work colleagues or even police to get himself out. He got diabetes type 2 and no 1 stress cancer pancreatic cancer, got 6months to live, died in 3months!! My mum fake cried when he died. Secretly she looked relieved and happy like a burden had been lifted off her. My dad wantedivorce twice but he was too weak to leave her.

And probs the fear that she would ruin him, his reputation etc. Leave now my dad did not have the chance. I did, I left a ten year narc marriage. I am a single mum to four children. If I had stayed I would be dead! Its ALL and will only be about her. They are cold and have no conscience!! Just plan your move,your escape. Narcs is a good word to describe these individuals, from their eyes looking at the world, all they see is themselves.

I just got out of a narcissistic relationship and am mourning ha! I have always been happy within myself and comfortable with me. I need to work myself out of the funk, soon! Can you please send me the link of the paragraph you referred to. My ex fiancee is classic passive aggressive without knowing it and what astounds me is that these narcissistic people have these traits seemingly innate.

My female narcissist partner was wrecking my health taunting me with cruel texts about pulling men in nightclubs , twisting round everything I said, and taking advantage of men although I am not 20 years older than her to worship her. She loved the power she had over us all and I pity the next victim. To retain my sanity I had to end it and in just over 18 months she was hinting at getting engaged after about 2 or 3 weeks, classic narcissist again , we did: No more will she control me and I will never put up with this behaviour from another woman.

I should have stuck to my gut feeling and ended it after the first 2 months she presssed the right buttons so to speak and begged me to take her back. Then a never ending cycle began: Nearly put me in a grave. I was married for 20 years to a narc man. I freed myself several years ago, and then read everything I could about the illness. One shattering thing they tend to do— and what was done to me—is that a narc will pick a person who has attributes they secretly envy and want for themselves. I was intelligent, tall and very good-looking, and the way my family lived made it look as though we were rich.

None of this mattered to me, I had low self-esteem and narc parents. I was also very naive. How I wish I could turn back time. This man wished for the things I had growing up —as HE saw them. He grew up poor, 7 years older than me and a custodian. Not true, because of my self-esteem. I ended up just feeling bad that his esteem was so low.

So he finished his demolition work and destroyed me, as I no longer fed his narc food anymore. I ended up pithed, scooped out like a melon. I no longer had friends. I lost most my teeth because he denied me dental care— even when I carried the insurance! And yet I was a trophy for him to show off This is my gorgeous, talented, father-is-a novelist and art collector-wife!

All that time, too, he had been cheating and doing really awful stuff. They take, then discard. If ever you have doubts about a partner, and they are not taken seriously. If you see flashes of extreme envy toward yourself especially! If your achievements are not really celebrated. If you are cut down while the other is raised up.

When you wonder why this person loves, or even likes, you. They seem to have no sense of shame, and force things to go their way. When there is anything hidden, like finances. Run away, as fast as you can. Your life will be strangled, your gifts and true goodness warped or lost. Your sense of direction, your moral compass, your vision of the world—skewed, smashed.

I was scared for my life, as were my siblings. His assault landed him in court, where I had to testify while he stared me down with the most evil look. A 2 year restraining order, and some assault charge that carried no jail time, was put on him. He stopped pursuing me. After that, I saw him only from afar, a few times, for those two years— but I always looked over my shoulder, I was afraid to go to the city where he had told people I had narced on them turned out that was a lie, and many of those people actually liked me and felt really sorry for me!

For two years I struggled to get some life back. He immediately moved a lover I knew nothing about into my house and onto my dirty sheets and used towels! At the end of those two years, to the very date, he showed up at my work, all sentimental smiles and flowers! I told him no, and never to bother me. But he kept popping up, acting all nice and— I realized his narcissism could not bear to have me in the world, hating him. These people are so dangerous.

He once gloated over me, while we were divorcing, that I had been so easy to deceive the whole thing is your fault, he said, because you were so easy to manipulate. These people are killers, too. I have one friend who died suddenly, and I knew her husband was a narcissist. He sold her car and most of her stuff before the funeral cremation had a new girlfriend really, a lover from his office in the house in a month. Moved to a new state far off in 5 months. My friend had some medical problems but— no autopsy. That could have been me, or you. I really think he killed her.

I think that is a true risk with these people. They can be so enchanting, charming, almost addictive—as my ex was. Watch yourself while you are with them, then when you leave them— if they are not done with you yet, and you decide to leave, they will be absolutely wounded, and a narcissist is capable of things you would not even think of. I think you covered the nearly exact version of my husband and me — with the exceptions my husband was a very good looking underachiever from a broken home — what my friends called a loser but whom I thought was capable of everything he said he wanted.

I am 61 and abandoned after 23 years — and yes, he says I was just stupid to believe him — they do not have the same values and they will leave you for dead — because you being alive is just one more proof they arent what they say they are. Not be treated like they are diseased serial killers.

Dont run from someone you are in love with, help them through it. And entered myself into therapy through an anger management program after my divorce left me feeling betrayed and unable to consider why my wife of 5 years and 2 daughters could possibly do what she did to me. I learned that I suffer from narcissistic behavior, and that I was torturing her. And a woman, even a good one can only handle so much. I have learned a great deal about myself since that time. Dedicated to staying sober and celibate I began my journey to correct my behavior. Now 10 years later, I have found myself in a wonderful relationship with the most amazing woman I have ever met.

We have many differences yet we have managed to have an amazing relationship. And now with a recent promotion at a new job, we spend less and less time together and I have noticed an increase in alcohol use. We have an increasingly difficult time communicating and I am so afraid that my behavior is becoming tortuous to her. She suffers herself from depression issues and she is also divorced. She has been off her medication for more than a year.

We have both agreed that we need to see a therapist. However the financial stresses of life make that a difficult choice. My income is so tight due to child support and ex house payments. Yet I am aware of my behavior and find it difficult to constantly monitor. It is very difficult living as a narcissist. It took 15 weeks of therapy just to accept that this is a reality of myself.

I really want to do this right. I do not wish to torture my mate. And find it increasingly difficult to bite my tongue and just listen. The frustration is that it seems like I am the only one that does listen. I have a very good relationship with my 2 girls, but for how long if my behavior is not corrected. I am doing my very best in finding outlets to my behavioral disorder.

However working around the clock and only seeing my lady in passing through the week is challenging. I have a history in substance abuse.. In my childhood I had a wonderful family. My little sister has a wonderful husband. My mother passed away at the age of My father is a pilot and flies all over the world.

I am so proud to call him dad. Yet I am the black sheep. I moved out of my parents house when I was 16, married at 19, and divorced at Now 32 with 13 and 11 year old daughters that live more than an hour away, I am finding myself falling back into the same patterns. Hi Margaret, If I can give you any advice after the last 9 months of being with a narcisist that I loved dearly is. I have studied this now, spoken to many people. The the narcissist is not going to help you.

You can only help yourself. I met a woman through friends who I feel in love with. The first real love connection since my divorce 4 years ago. This woman is one of the most attractive and intelligent women I have ever met. I would have children with her. She told me that she loved me but. I have never felt so alone as when I was with her. I couldnt understand how this person could say she loved me yet act in the reverse. I had to look at what she did not what she said. So always seeking the attention of men it was embarrassing. As of I was not there. When it was in her interest, she would considered and loving, when we had no plans, I could get no attention from her.

For my own sanity I had to leave. Constantly on Facebook posting photos and looking for attention. Rated how well get life was going by the number of likes. In the end I found her on to website that sought financial arrangements for love. She blamed me that I was not giving her enough attention. My daughters could not understand why a grown up would behave the way she did. In the end my eldest daughter would joke. Walk away from someone who in done ways was so beautiful but in others so ugly and hurtful. She will not change.

She will continue to hurry the next man and the next and the next. Confirmation for me was that the day we broke up, she went out that night and smeared herself all over Facebook with another man and disgusting comments of what they may have got up to. I did not see them and the next night she claimed she was ill and she asked me to come over and stay the night so she had company.

She had no words but just blame. But do much for the best. It hurts today still at the moment. She was mentally ill. I deserve to be happy as well. You must leave and find happiness. I was married to a Narc who was 15 years younger than me. I met her when I was She was very attractive and following a whirl wind romance, we got married six months after we met.

This was crazy behaviour but I had fallen completely in love with her and she told me that she loved me also.

It took me about 2 months to realise that things were not right. Her behaviour was really odd — always seeking the limelight and on a high one moment and crying with despair the next. She was manipulative and Had a massive sense of her own self importance. We had three beautiful daughters who are the love of my life. I provided my wife with everything that she wanted but in the end we split in very acrimonious circumstance and I have not spoken to her for 5 years.

I was completely outclassed in deception and it is with some regret that I know it will never happen again. My life was nearly destroyed by this narcisicist but I managed to break free and I can now look ahead with a degree of confidence about my future. I think i may have just been in a relationship with one. I would like to talk to someone who knows more about this because i have never experienced anything like it until now. My girlfriend went out to run an errand on July 22nd and just now messaged me, she only wants her clothes back.

Is this at all a good idea, or will this just give her another reason to keep jumping into my life as pleases? I am planning on leaving the state any day now, I need distance and reduced access to lick my wounds. I am so sorry to hear about your situation.

In a Relationship with a Narcissist? What You Need to Know About Narcissistic Relationships

Rita of Cascia endured years of abuse. I will keep you in my prayers and remember, none of this will matter in years time! Pray for me too please James. I am a Christian married to someone I suspect is a narcissist. Read up on narcissism. I was once in your position. I started my blog to help people like you NOT have to go through what I did!!! Margaret, leave the relationship. The sooner the better. But it is not real, or healthy by any means. I have been going through this for 16 years never married and always tried to fixed the problem.


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Even though its hard!!! I have to do it for my son…all the best! It would be helpful to learn why you ended up in such relationship, to understand your own issues. This knowledge will be helpful in your healing. There is plenty of info on internet. But I ted to over analyze details to be able to apply them. Can someone please help me identify my personal behaviors. I find the description to vague , great deal possible the denial side is in high gear here. I also dated one before him. I just wanted to say…. There is nothing there. We had relationship problems mainly with the red flags I was seeing.

My observations of her behavior led me to believe she was cheating. She ultimately lead me to believe I was crazy and put me on a massive guilt trip for having called her on my suspicions. In all of this she made it about her putting on a big show about how much pain she was in due to me accusing her of cheating.

It was really pretty weird cause if you think about it, if your partner accuses you of cheating, and you are not, and they are clearly certain that you are… based on their obvious mental state…. Instead she made it all about her, with a total inability to be compassionate and put herself in my shoes, to share my feelings and my hurt. I went on this torrential reading spree devouring every self help book I could get to try to understand and find center, regain my reason and wait for it???

Try to fix the situation. I was excited by the prospect of us working through the methods together to improve our relationship!!! She showed little interest. Now to address what another said earlier, being in this relationship is a very lonely situation. She tells me she loves me in monotone with no visible emotion and yet the elephant in the room is her complete emotional unavailability!

Did I mention the passive aggession and the silent treatment? Acts different at home and out in the world… constantly worried about her image. In case of confusion about my post above. I end up questioning in my own mind everything she says, not actually physically questioning her cause that would create a war zone here. See if you can get into therapy with someone good. Nicole, your post was a long time ago but for anyone wondering if you yourself are a narcissist just take this survey. I can totally empathise with your experiences and I believe the comment about taking responsibility is very accurate.

I too have experienced narc relationships. My father is narc and very adept at making you feel responsible. I played this role for many years as did my mother. When I challenged it I was cut off ignored. My siblings have spent too long with my father and have adopted the same patterns, so I have withdrawn, which has been my saving grace. Be assured your ex will look for someone she can control as thats her modus operandi, yours has been the rescuer cos thats been yours. All the best for a happy future. Dee, i have a question for you, since your father is a narc like you posted in your post, I have a friend that his mother seems to be one, and is very upset with me, and tells everyone that our relationship is not approved of by her, because its unhealthy.

The only unhealthy part is when she is continuously yelling and screaming at one or both of us. He is a very very kind person, but he has this person, that will track him down, if he is not where he said he was going to be, or if he said something positive about me, she would come over and raise hell, I am not sure if i should continue to wait for him, or just let him go, my heart says to wait, but my head says to give up.

I am having a very hard time with this because of how close we have got, and all of a sudden one day he is not around anymore, and after every fight that his mom has put towards me and him, he has continued to tell me its not my fault, and to stay positive, and take care of myself, but yet I am worried sick about him, and his children, because I know way to much, that everyone in his family is denying the fact that I am right and she is wrong. Can you please help me? Short version of why you are drawn back: Hello — I wanted to add to the above note.

The website mentioned above has been tremendously helpful in giving me the knowledge and strength to leave the abusive narssistic man I have been involved with for almost 10 years. He is always right never wrong. My needs have never been met. He changed and started following a African religion, turned into a vegan, anything I say have no meaning since he changed.

He gets a rise out of defending the mother of his son, and talking to other women on facebook saying he can do what he wants. If I mention the women or his ex he protects them by making me feel like they are better than me. He may be pushing me away, because everything we had in common when we were married has gone.

He stays on facebook morning to night, and does not have any kind of real conversation or communication with me. Then he told one of those facebook females that he blocked me from his page, so she could continue stimulating his intellect. All in all, I live here with him and I have never felt so alone. I want nothing from him. I could have written exactly what you wrote!

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I just broke it off with a man who did almost EXACTLY the same thing… starting with how he gets a rise out of defending an ex… and talking to other women on facebook saying he can do what he wants…. I am rid of him!!! It does not change!!! It does not change. My spirit of fear, doubt, insecurities and judgement of others attracted this type of individual. I was the perfect supply.

"Pillow Talk" with Sarah J. Symonds: Narcissism And The Cheating Married Man.

When I began to love myself fully I was no longer fearful of the disrespect. The belittlement came stronger because they had to get me back to where I was. If you think on it…you probably know nothing about them personally other than how everyone disprespects them. They fall apart with any input that questions their knowledge.

Just believe me…until they are tired of changing partners and running from the truth, they will not change. I was married for 14 years to an NPD. The reason Jeff went back, the reason people feel like helping NPDs is called codependency. You need to understand exactly why each of you has gotten into these relationships. You all had an agenda… maybe it was to fill a void in your own lives. Dig deep, uncomfortably deep within yourself and the answers are there. Also look up co-morbidity definition. Wish you all luck, your answers are there, I promise you. Yea I realize melvin g.

Is not worth it. He is a cheater n big liar. Sometimes u just have to walk away from people like that. I know I will find true love. I have been in a relationship like this for 16yrs. I have little strength to fight this person it seems i just have to wait until he decides he no longer requires me and lets me go. Yes thank you to this website for making me aware. I actually was searching for answers thinking I was going insane. Whenever I am feeling sad about my decision of leaving this person I simply read this and it brings back all the terrible memories of why I had to leave.

Thank you so much. The father of my kid is a total narcissist. I see the good in him too but he is very mean to me. He is constantly putting me down about my appearance, my intelligence my past everything you can imagine. I get ripped to shreds every day here about something and am relentlessly maligned for every slight misstep or just for not doing things exactly his way at all times.

He has zero concern for the emotional pain he causes me, the tears or the anguish in my face has never had any impact on him. Sad, sad and more sad. However, narcissists can be extremely persistent in grabbing your attention. Clients have reported many types of attention-getting behaviors from narcissists who feel rejected, for example: If you have children together, these pleas for attention can go on and on.

One client was so anxious from all the pressure that she actually lost her voice when she saw her former husband. Suddenly the narcissist says s he understands why you are upset and ready to leave. S he promises to go to therapy, do everything you ask, do things your way. S he is so, so sorry to have hurt you. This is a tempting appeal for a caretaker who truly wants the relationship to work. S he seems genuinely sincere.

You breathe a sigh of relief and hope builds in you again. Inevitably this hope disintegrates. For a while, you think things are getting better. It is hard to keep the end of your relationship with a narcissist out of the public eye, because the narcissist demands that everyone you know choose sides. That is very distressful for most caretakers. During your entire relationship, the narcissist insisted on extreme privacy about your interactions together, and now s he is spreading all kinds of misinformation and slander and trying to ruin your good name.

Gossip is a manipulative tactic designed to make you the bad guy and to garner the narcissist as much sympathy as possible. It can also work effectively to reengage you with him and bring you under control. Although stalking is usually not blatant or threatening by narcissists, it is not uncommon for narcissists to fortuitously be at the grocery store when you are, to suddenly appear at a community or social event you attend, or change their running schedule so they go down your street every morning.

Be prepared ahead of time that these unexpected meetings might occur. Narcissists appear to be strong and independent, but they are actually extremely needy. You may find it hard to let go of taking care of the narcissist. You may get calls to come fix her car, or he may still expect you to keep doing the accounting for his business, or she wants you to take down the Christmas lights on her house, or he expects you to still make his dentist appointments. It can be exhausting and difficult for you to say no to these persistent requests.

Want more insight into your relationship? Find out the things you should always be selfish about in your partnerships and the questions that could keep your marriage from ending. Food has the power to create a happier and healthier world. I wanted to give you an update on my situation. On september14, I requested a binding love spell be cast on my boyfriend.

His eyes roamed to any woman that passed us and it made me feel horrible. I am happy to report that a 2days after I requested the spell he proposed to me. We have been married for months now, we are expecting our first child in Nov. I was greatly impressed with the fast results and the personal attention I was shown during the casting and beyond.

The only way to deal with it is to smile, get an imaginary immunity pass to his drama, to the jealous feelings, to the pain and insecurity, play his game and enjoy it! Spoil him, laugh and go on with your life. It can be done, just realize you are above it all and he is 'limited'. Remember that immunity pass!

It means you don't ever have to feel any pain and you can let go at anytime as well as enjoy the good moments. No bad feelings, no anger, no loneliness, no neediness. That is all just you allowing manipulation in. WHo you are in love with is not that guy, but a projection of him.

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He is in fact much less amazing than you think and not worth it to worry about. Above all, don't let him manipulate you! Just be happy at all times and he will have no grip on you! The affair I had with, let's call him Bill started on emails at work. He was someone I knew from a previous job.

One day he came down to my cube to say hi, and the next thing I knew, I was receiving emails from him, and he gave me his work mobile phone number and told me to text him over the weekend, which I did not. The emails progressed to sexual innuendos which I encouraged, because I liked the attention. I left the job, and we shared a passionate kiss which lead to some sexual im's. When I returned to the job months later he was cold, and avoided me. Months later we slept together once. After that he treated me terribly. Oh, but he did take me out to lunch once to apologize, but I belive it was to make him feel better about himself.

Yes, he is a narcissist, classic case of narcissistic personality disorder. I don't talk to him anymore. Ladies, this is a man who said he lives for his kids, and that spouses are replaceable. I wonder how his wife would feel about that comment. I pity her, becasue I do believe I am not the only woman he has done this with.

I am fine emotionally, and I won't make the same mistake twice. I advise you to steer clear from these men. I can't believe all of the women that stay with married men for years. He is not going to leave his wife for you I was in a relationship that was consummated once, and that was enough for me. Do you know what my problem is with these comments? I truly believe if you have an affair with a married man then you deserve everything you get. Women go around complaining about men being liars and cheats but then knowingly sleep with married men.

I am married to a narcissist and after him pursuing me, marrying me and putting me on a pedestal he was cheating after one year of marriage and showed his truly foul narcissistic self, selfish, emotionally abusive, indifferent and cruel. If it wasn't or women like you making it easy for them then these men couldn't cheat not saying the men are innocent.

But it seems ridiculous to complain about these men and how decent they seemed in the beginning when they are cheating on their wives!!!! What is decent about that? And as for those of you who say their wives are doormats etc The cheating lying man you are with haha. My husband told me all of his ex's are psycho bitches But who is the common denominator Wake up and learn to say no to married men! Well technically he was my boyfriend and he cheated. We broke up, and he's seeing someone else.

He's lured me back in 4 times 4 brief affairs, about 2 months at a time. I love him so much and all I want to do is make him happy. I want to take care of him. So I've left him again, and my question is: She's caught us involved twice now, and will most certainly leave him if he's found out. Your post was so honest, it's the story of my life. Your advice is much appreciated. I'm the mistress too.

But I am way too smarter than his wife. I found photos of various women in his phone and 2 he took with a sweet young thing. Btw, he's 46 and I'm I also screen through his messages and found he had sex or oral sex with a 20 something For my case, we went through a proper courtship although he's married.

But to my horror Girl in the photo with him isn't the one I know he slept with I label him as a womanizer. Though I confronted him; he denied having any sexual relationship with this girl n cook up a story to say she's down with cancer. I am still with him. How can I break this chain He sleeping with a sweet young thing but cont to hit on other women. He don't support me anyway.

The only time we meet is just for sex. I'm very disappointed with myself for seeing him through and refused to accept the truth and cont being with him. In a fight he did briefly said something like why should I get jealous and all men are horny by nature. In a way, I reckon he admitted his crimes. I begin to envy his wife. Her ignorance cont to lead her living in a bliss.. I never wanna them to break up but at least I'm the last he's gonna have I've known what he's been up to for 2 yrs.

I'm a little hard-headed and stong willed, so I have been "forcing" his hand. Confronting him, calling him on his lies. For me, I want him to admit he's been "using" me. Yeah, yeah, not going to happen. I have so much hard eveidence of his extra activites. E-mails on sex sites, etc. What would happen if I sent copies of this activity to his family, friends co-workers?

Oh and lets not forget about the other woman on the sex sites. I know, revenge is non-productive. But my thoughts are I have been in love, for 4 yrs, with a man you just described down to a tea. These men first start with how miserable they are with their wives and how there is no intemicay in the marriage. They come across as needing help and love. So as caring women we feel we can give that.

But they give that bull to evry woman they meet, it means nothing to them to lure you in, to feel you trust them and make you feel loved by them, until the nxt woman comes along and he' s off again. Leaving you behind feeeling the rejection, the hurt and the pain. I left my long term partner for such a man, uprooted my kids because i loved him so much.